In ACTIVISM by Scott Tusa18 Comments

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area in the 1980’s and 90’s. Raised Jewish, I went to Hebrew school like any good little reformed Jewish boy. I loved going because I could sneak into the back with friends and smoke cigarettes. As a teenager I frequented the punk rock clubs of Berkeley and San Francisco, getting drunk and stoned with friends in the gutters and back alleys of the suburban America we so loathed.

When I was 16 my mother lost her battle with cancer. Six months before she died I was visiting the Western/Wailing wall in Jerusalem, Israel. It was part of a confirmation trip I was on with sixty other young Jewish teens. Although I was mostly enjoying the trip because I could buy and drink as much beer as my friends and I wanted, I haphazardly found a strange calm in the old city of Jerusalem. As I was standing at the wall reflecting on my life and my mother’s illness, I tuned into the sounds all around me. All at once there came the ringing of church bells blended with the call to mosque and the mumbled prayers of orthodox Jews. At that moment I simultaneously felt a connection and a dissonance. The connection was what I have now come to understand as the unity and interdependence we all share as beings inhabiting this planet. The dissonance was the war, isolation and suffering that come from forgetting this unity and interdependence. It was so obvious to me in that moment that we are not separate, we all depend on each other for our well-being and life. A few moments later I stuck a piece of paper in the wall with a prayer written on it as is Jewish custom. My prayer was asking that my mother could be spared from her illness and eminent death. This was my first lesson in impermanence.

At my mother’s wake you could find me in the garage punching holes in boxes. I just wanted the half-hearted condolences to stop and people to just leave me alone in my anger and grief. I couldn’t relate to anyone and I was frustrated and at odds with the world. The cynicism of my punk rock roots had opened my eyes to a wider world, but it had also instilled a hatred and frustration with it. This cynicism combined with being bullied much of my youth and growing up in an environment that prized the individual over the community, formed the conditions for the self-isolation and low self-esteem that continued on throughout my teens and into my twenties. The only way I knew how to deal with it was to create an emotional wall and to swallow all of the pain, unconsciously driving the blame into myself. This wall not only cut me off from a genuine connection with others, but it cut me off from a genuine connection with myself. It wasn’t until I was able to unpack the layers of my pain, cease blaming outside factors and make a conscious choice to feel, that I was able to understand my inner turmoil, begin to heal and to experience my true pain as the wall I place between myself and others.

The story of my early life as described here is not unique. We have epidemics of low self-esteem and self-isolation in America and elsewhere, and we have a million ways to numb ourselves. In the developed world material wealth and individualism have become the markers of status and happiness, our basic human frailties of confusion, greed and hatred are preyed upon to serve corporate, economic and ideological interests, and we are taught that strength is derived from self-sufficiency and independence. This couldn’t be further from reality. It is an illusion to think that even if we have personally amassed comfort and wealth over a lifetime of hard work, it’s fruits are solely our own. If you analyze carefully there is nothing that we can or have accomplished singularly and individually. There is always interconnection and interdependence. When we neglect to recognize the interdependent nature of the world it is easy to become cynical and apathetic. When we don’t take care of our own inner world of judgments and biases it is easy to blame and hate others for the problems we perceive. Instead we must make a conscious choice to recognize and live our interconnection by becoming soldiers of love and compassion towards ourselves and others.

Truly embodying and training in love and compassion takes extraordinary courage and it does not always feel good. It is as much a training and practice as an act. It requires us to gradually give up our own selfish aims and motivations and to at least make others wants and needs as important as our own, if not more. When we practice and train in developing love we are increasing our ability to give affection, wish happiness and to genuinely find joy in the well being of others. When we practice and train in developing compassion we are strengthening our ability to bear witness to suffering and to spring into action to relieve the pain of others when necessary. Too often we box ourselves into an ideal of what we think love and compassion should look like. Instead of putting effort into growing them we catalogue our failures and therefore our efficacy to actually be loving and compassionate decreases. As an alternative we must begin to broaden where we place our value. Outward acts of love and compassion are important, but if we limit the value of love and compassion solely to an outward act it is easy to turn it into just another hallmark card for our shelf. The strength of love and compassion not only lies in their expression, but in the mind that is embodying them.

We have seen the breakdown from the community, to the family and finally down to the individual. Alone, isolated and surrounded by stuff, many of us are questioning a model that espouses exponential material growth as the touchstone for human well-being. Our education, economic and political systems are built on competition and over-consumption, media and main-stream religious expression has been watered down to serve corporate and economic interests, and the only remedies we are offered are endless wars and more consumption. With all of these pertinent issues coming to a head, maybe it is time to stop searching outside for the answers? Systems of inequity and oppression must be challenged and dismantled, but systems are also made up of the people who support them consciously and unconsciously. Our states of mind and actions are what drive those systems. If we wish to have economic, political and social systems that reflect love, compassion, care for our environment and overall well-being, we must embody and train in those qualities ourselves. We must begin to shift the focus within our individual lives, families and communities away from hyper-individualism, materialism and competition. We must begin to consciously create environments, communities and human interactions that honor and embody interdependence, love, compassion, and liberation for all. Step by step we can put effort into watering our individual seeds of love and compassion, and we can put the conditions in place to help our families and communities develop them as well. We all have the seeds and potential. We must put effort into the changes we want to see.

About the Author
Scott Tusa

Scott Tusa


Scott Tusa (Tenzin Namsel) is a Buddhist teacher based in Crestone, Colorado. He teaches meditation and Buddhist psychology nationally and supports Tsoknyi Rinpoche's Pundarika Sangha as a practice advisor. To connect with Scott, please visit his website: https://scotttusa.com Other LEVEKUNST articles by the same author.

Photos by Bess Hamiti, Kosovo.

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  1. Avatar

    1-17-17 Greta N. Kremer
    I am an eighty-four year old humble woman and am happy to see young people in the awakened state of mind. I would like to hear more of your projects.

    1. Scott Tusa Author

      Thank you Greta! The 10drel project ended up becoming a catalyst for a lot of wonderful dialogue and exchange of ideas with some wonderful people on what is needed to develop compassionate communities. Those kinds of dialogue are still very much in process for me. I am currently involved in a few projects and communities. The mission of one in particular is to merge contemplative practices with social transformation. You can access and read more about it here: http://courageofcare.org

  2. Tenzin Namsel Author

    I just wanted to update everyone who expressed interest in 10drel. We are still working on how and what we want 10drel to be. In the meantime I have started working with a very similar organization called Courage of Care. Courage of Care offers workshops and online courses focused on Sustainable Compassion Training. I will be co-facilitating some upcoming workshops with Courage of Care and am working with them on some exciting new directions. If your interested in the work we are doing please visit our website at: http://courageofcare.org.

    I will also keep you posted as 10drel develops! Thanks so much for your interest!

  3. Avatar

    Beautiful ! I would be interested as you develop the program ..Many Blessings to you in you endeavor

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    Namsel, A great article. I was very touched and informed by it. The ideas that we’ve discussed as to how to create a series of experiences that would promote a greater attunement to our connectedness and cultivate compassion from the inside out seem to hold a lot of promise. Hope that you keep at it! And count on me for support.

    1. Tenzin Namsel Author

      Thanks so much Tim! Our ongoing dialogue and your willingness to share your experience and inner wisdom continue to inform my views and approach as well. Much appreciated.

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    I live in LA and am very interested in your program. Could you let me know any info?

    1. Tenzin Namsel Author

      Thanks for the interest Marilyn. I will be posting a link to more information as soon as we develop it. Until then if you would like to get in contact with me you can find me on Facebook and we can connect. Look forward to it!

  6. Seema sahoo

    Thank you Tenzin for this lovely message. Looking forward reading more about it.

    1. Tenzin Namsel Author


  7. Shirley Brand

    Thank you Tenzin, the younger you learn this the happier your life can be….

    1. Tenzin Namsel Author

      Thanks Shirley.

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    Hi Tenzin, I relate to your essay, and thank you. Please let me know more about your program.

    1. Tenzin Namsel Author

      Thanks so much Rachel. We are currently developing the program and website. I will post a link here once we have the website up.

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    I am interested, too. I live in Crestone. Thank you. LOVED the essay….hope to see you again soon….

    1. Tenzin Namsel Author

      Thanks Anne. I will post a link to the website here when we get enough info on it.

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    I am interested in this program.. Please tell me more..

    1. Tenzin Namsel Author

      Thanks so much Isabela. We are in the process of developing the program and website. I’ll post a link here to the website when it’s up.

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