It was the sixth night of retreat, when I felt that the last bit of doubts and the wall between me and my guru totally collapsed. I was humbled by his endless compassion, which I will never find words to describe. I can’t probably ever express my gratitude for him accepting and blessing me with the profound teachings and empowerments. That night I started compiling this little poem as a note to thank him.
Prostrating at lotus feet of Ratnashree!
For eons I have been trying,
For eons you haven’t given up on me,
For eons I have deceived you,
Lied and pretended.
Like a child wanting to be loved,
Delusional not knowing what is true.
Your compassion has no boundaries,
Your wisdom is all encompassing,
You see a pathetic being like me, equally!
You are the host, the essence, the buddha-nature.
I took your instructions a billion times
I failed to put it to use or be truly abide,
I practiced, I practiced for worldly gains,
Only ending up always more in pain
For ego that tricked me in acting smart.
Now I worry this opportunity will soon depart.
I give up! I surrender!
Cuz this ego will tick me again.
For a hopeless thing like me,
There is no where else to begin.
My only solace is at your feet,
Please have your mercy on me.
I submit my body, speech and mind,
This slave of yours of begin-less time.
The moon will loose it’s glow,
The sun will sieze to exist.
To rescue your servents like me,
Your loving kindness will never resist.
O’ Guru please think of me!
As I prostrate to you a zillion times
O’ Guru please think of me!
As I take sambhar and samayas as days shall rhyme
O’ Guru please think of me!
As you are my beginning and my end,
Because of your pure love I will always remain.
O’ Guru please make use of me!
This unless fool of yours,
Cuz I know nothing better
But to love you and be your tool.
Use me as your carpet,
Use me as your stool,
Use me as a stick,
Or use me as you would.
Now I have found you, my search here ends.
At your lotus feet I will always remain!
O’ Guru please make use of me!
O’ Guru please make use of me!
O’ Guru please make use of me!