A storm blows through my mind,
I am dragged away to the past, present, and future.
Memories are grabbing hold of me like the cold iron fist of winter.
Worry engulfs me as if I am drowning in a lake, and the fear is overwhelming.
My energy is shaking like a shorn sheep in the bitter night of early spring.
Yet deep underneath all of this turmoil in my confused, turbulent mind I can
see a glimmer.
A glimmer of hope.
I need to dig deep underneath the soil,
getting my hands dirty,
leaves in my hair,
a kind of wild look on my face,
as I dig deeper than I ever have.
But the more I want this glimmer, the deeper I need to dig; it never seems to
stop.
This glimmer of hope keeps eluding me as if I am trying to grasp air with my
bare hands.
Each time my hands close, I peek inside as if I finally got it, but nothing is
there.
I am tired of digging, tired of the storm in my mind, tired, oh so tired…
I finally give up, my doubt as big as the tallest mountain.
My doubt that I am not strong enough, like an ox, to dig.
I fall on the moss, moistened by my tears, giving up, and I let go.
The earth starts to shake, suddenly the clouds depart and the sun shines in
all its glory.
My eyes are closed,
a light deep inside,
heat blazes through me,
devouring all my doubt and my turbulent mind.
Layers upon layers are just falling away like castles made of playing cards.
Nothing is left; I am naked.
The truth shines right into my heart.
Just Be, just Be, just Be, it is whispering.
By Frans Stiene, from his new book The Inner Heart of Reiki – Rediscovering Your True Self
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